Today is #TalkingTuesday and there is only one thing that I have had on my mind all day that I want to talk about and that is all this social distancing and the effect it is having.
It is obvious that social distancing is imperative at this point in all our lives but that does not mean that we will not suffer the effects. It is natural for humans to want the intimacy that togetherness brings so, forcing ourselves to not touch, not hold hands, not hug and just generally stay apart from one another can begin to actually cause us to break down internally. I am literally feeling these effects and because I know that there are thousands if not millions of people feeling the same way, I have decided to dedicate this blog post to all who feel the need to have some sort of togetherness through understanding and a sense of camaraderie.
Today I just felt out of sorts. I felt as though something was missing but I kept busy however, throughout the day I just had an uncomfortable feeling. I finally realized what it was when I went to hug my son. I have a special needs son. He is amazing and funny and playful and smart but he has sensory issues and he does not like to be touched for any prolonged period of time. I hugged him and he hugged me back but as he usually does, he pulled away and that is when I realized what my problem was. I am in desperate need of affection that comes from a loving embrace. I am separated from my husband so that is not an option and during this quarantine, I have seen my mom on a few occasions but was only able to throw her air kisses which gave me a painful pit in my stomach. To me it is not normal not to kiss and hug your mom when first seeing her and when saying goodbye or any family member each and every time. That is just not how I was brought up. I talk to my sisters but there is no contact and I have friends that are near and dear but there is not any real contact there either.
I really started feeling emotional today when I thought about my niece Gianna. She is such a mush and so loving. Every single time I walk into her house, she comes flying down the stairs and throws herself at me. She sits on my lap and is so in your face with her hugs that she usually gets yelled at to let me breathe. You probably think I am talking about a little girl but I am not. She is sixteen and a total mush with me. I return her love every single time but today I thought about all the times that I asked her to please go sit someplace else after she smothered me for what I felt was an acceptable amount of time. It almost made me cry realizing how much I am desperately missing the love that comes through her hugs and how sad I am currently feeling not being able to have that special hug that just seems to put together all your broken pieces and I wondered if that is how she feels on a continuing basis.
I am well aware that this too shall pass but just because it is going to pass does not mean that each day that we sit hoping and praying that this virus does not take another life and that hopefully each day brings greater hopes that fewer and fewer people are getting sick, the emotional toll of needing human contact is still destroying those of us who wait.
So this blog post is to let you all know that while we wait for our new normal to fully begin, please become acutely aware of those tiny little things that you took for granted that mean the world to you right now like that prolonged hug, or that tender kiss, that snuggle under a blanket, a whisper in your ear or, for me, my family bunched together on the couch all laughing and enjoying each other for hours while the kids climb all over us and entertain us while eating food or snacks from shared bowls. What we are doing right now is necessary but it is not human and it is very important that you all realize that it is okay to not be okay while we wait.
While we wait, keep busy. Do whatever it takes to occupy your time and make sure you continue forward on your journey toward your dreams. Reading is one of the best ways to occupy your mind and it helps you to distance yourself from reality at times. I have chosen a book for you today called Living Gratitude. It is very fitting for today’s blog post. If you cannot borrow a copy from your local library, here is a link to get your own copy from Amazon >>> https://amzn.to/38xquS6
If you choose to shop in Amazon, I would greatly appreciate it if you could use the link I have provided. As an Amazon Affiliate, it is possible I can earn a bonus and therefore continue to provide continued content we all enjoy. Thank you in advance!
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